In The Half Way

I've never thought to decide things in life would be such a great confusion for me. I don't know whether I was bored or tired or blank,but surely i haven't been in such high spirited life to do things lately.I was trying some other fields which unknown for me before,but I was too scared to keep on walking and find out a little bit more.

I've tried to discover my own long lost hobbies and try to make it as a job but,so far it hasn't gave me any good result after several tests.I've also tried writing and came up with some idea to build it into one storyline,either its for novel,comic or simply one short story,but then again, the other side of mine has successfully prevented me from make those ideas into reality.

In the end I'm only wondering up in my room thinking and has never stopped doing it until now, what is the best thing to do?I know that the safest way would be to stick around in this type of job that I've been doing for like more than 10years,but it has brought me nothing but emptiness,since I have lost the excitement from long ago and that I'm tired being betrayed by people around me.although I can never stopped thanking my superior for still giving me such opportunity and time to let me think whats the best thing to do in the near future.please God show me Your miracle once more and guide me to the best way...